Amazed at God!

Who is this God we serve? This great and awesome God who sits upon the throne. The earth and the sky see him and flee, folding up like a scroll. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, the whole earth is full of his glory! This great and awesome God has chosen me. I cry out with Isaiah "My eyes have seen the King!" He has chosen me. I am in awe of him.

This God has stooped down to make me great! He has chosen me, one who was counted among the foolish of the earth, that he may confound the wise. I am the least likely, but he has chosen me to do the almighty! Who I'm I Lord, that you are mindful of me?!

1 Samuel 2

⁵ Those who were full hire themselves out for food,
but those who were hungry are hungry no more.
She who was barren has borne seven children,
but she who has had many sons pines away.

⁶ “The LORD brings death and makes alive;
he brings down to the grave and raises up.
⁷ The LORD sends poverty and wealth;
he humbles and he exalts.
⁸ He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor.

“For the foundations of the earth are the LORD’s;
on them he has set the world.
⁹ He will guard the feet of his faithful servants,
but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.

“It is not by strength that one prevails;

I found it!!

This is what I have been crying out for all morning. I found it!

Ephesians 3:19 Amplified

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

Fill me with as much you as I can take without exploding Lord. Fill me with the richest measure of you that I was created to carry. I want to be a body wholly filled and flooded with you my God! Do it for me Lord and do not delay!

Fill Me! Possess Me!

I want to be full. Full of your Spirit Lord. So full that he manifests in all that I am and all that pertains to me. So full that my shadow can heal the sick, and my bones, after I am dead and buried can raise the dead. So full, that clothes from my body and handkerchiefs belonging to me can heal the sick. I want to be so full that it is no longer I that live, but you who lives in me. Fill me! Fill me! My heart cries out to you Oh Lord. Fill me to over flowing! Soak me in your river. Dunk me under getting me soaking wet with your Spirit.

Once I saw a girl who was possessed by an evil spirit. She looked at me with a knowing look. I had never seen her or met her before, yet she recognized me or something in me. I remember looking at that girl, she must have been 12-14 years old and thinking to myself that what was looking at me out of her eyes was not her. It was something else. A different spirit.

Lord, if a demon can manifest itself in a girl and look out of her eyes at me, and I know that the world of the enemy copies you, then your Spirit can fill me so much as to possess me. So that he looks through my eyes, he hears with my ears, he feels with my heart, he thinks with my mind, he answers with my tongue, he touches those in the world with my hands. It can be done! I am giving myself to you in whole hearted surrender. Take me! Fill me! Possess me Holy Spirit! Use me! Show me my purpose and walk it out through me.

Isaiah 11

²And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him--the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the reverential and obedient fear of the Lord--

³And shall make Him of quick understanding, and His delight shall be in the reverential and obedient fear of the Lord. And He shall not judge by the sight of His eyes, neither decide by the hearing of His ears;

⁴But with righteousness and justice shall He judge the poor and decide with fairness for the meek, the poor, and the downtrodden of the earth; and He shall smite the earth and the oppressor with the rod of His mouth, and with the breath of His lips He shall slay the wicked.

⁵And righteousness shall be the girdle of His waist and faithfulness the girdle of His loins.

I Am Yours!

I am yours Lord. How can I say it enough? How can I show you enough? I am yours spirit, soul and body. Thank you for teaching me about me. About how you made me. So that I can see how I have done things in the past and how I ought to do them now. I am a triune being just like you. Where you are Father, Son and Holy Ghost, I am Spirit, Soul and Body. Made in your image and in your likeness.

My Spirit - The part that communicates with you.

My Body - The part that communicates with this world you have put me in.

My Soul - The true essence of my being.

I am a soul that lives in a body and has a spirit. I am a soul. A soul has a mind and heart. The mind is the seat of my intellect, reasoning, learning etc... My heart is the seat of my emotions. God made me this way because he is the same way. He thinks, he reasons, he is all knowing so I guess he doesn't learn new things. He feels, so he has emotions. He gets angry, he laughs, he weeps... I am made just like him.

The external world is not to dominate my soul so that I am affected by what I see and hear in the natural more than by what I see and hear in the spiritual. I am to be introverted in that I look within for answers. I look within for solutions and for the way in which I should walk. What do I mean within? I mean into my spirit where the Holy Spirit resides and speaks. He should be my source. He should be the final word regardless of what I see and hear on the outside.

Lord, you have said that in these last days you will pour out all your Spirit on your sons and daughters here on the earth. Here I am. I have come. It is written about me in your book. Pour out all your Spirit in me that I may manifest as a son of God on the earth. My heart Lord is that heaven would find expression on the earth through me. Do not delay Lord. You have called me and set me apart and said of me "I have need of you!" Therefore use me now Lord. Do not delay. I have come to answer the call.

You asked, "who shall I send, and who shall go for us" and I have answered "Here I am. Send me."

It is enough! It is enough that you love me. It is enough that you have favored me. It is enough that you have drawn me near and called me your own. It is enough that you have delighted yourself in me and chosen to honor me Lord. My heart is content. Only draw me closer still. Only bring me deeper still. Until the river becomes a flood, water in which I am forced to swim.

Who have I on earth but you? And in heaven, who have I besides you? You are my all in all. You are the apple of my eye. You are the darling of my heart. I love you with all that I am. I bless you. May I always be a delight to you dear Lord. All the days of my existence both here on earth and beyond!

Laying Siege

This year has been awesome in many ways, but for sure there are times when nothing has worked like I have wanted it to. The work of my hands has struggled in so many ways, yet God has supplied all my needs and more. Somehow I feel disappointed. A lot of my expectations have not been met. I feel like it has been an upward climb and a hard one at that. Still God has given me favor on all sides and fortitude to keep pushing against the wall that stands in front of me. I am convinced that if I can just break through this invisible wall, I can get to the other side. Which is where I want to be. I have been laying siege all year. Surely my breakthrough is near. May God give me the strength to hang in there until the walls come tumbling down. It is my hour.

Death Valley

There is life to be found only on the other side of death. But walking through death valley is the hardest thing I ever did. A while back the Lord took me to Psalm 23 and focussed in on verse 3

"he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake".

Even though I read it and highlighted it and knew there was meaning to it, I didn't quite comprehend what it was all about. Until today. Hindsight really is 20:20. The following verse reads

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

That is one place none of us wants to be at, but each one of us must get to the place where we die to self. Some deaths are easier than others but then there are those places in life where you can't explain to anyone what is happening to you. All you know is that you are dying. That you must lay yourself and your will on the altar and die without knowing what is on the other side of death.

Yet I know that there is life on the other side of death. A life that can only be found on the other side of death. Abraham received confirmation of the promise after he gave his son up as a sacrifice to the Lord. He must have died a thousand deaths walking his son to the mountain of sacrifice. But he had to. He was submitted to this God just like you and I are and there was nothing he could keep from him. Not even his only son.

God must know, that he knows, that he knows, that he is your first love. He must weigh and test the heart of man over and over again to be able to say like he did with Abraham in Genesis 22

"now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”

Is there anything I can withhold from God? Not a thing. Therefore I must give it all up if I must and die a thousand deaths if I must until my Lord is satisfied that my heart loves him. Mine is to trust him that he is indeed leading me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. That when I come out of death valley there will be a table laid out for me in the presence of my enemies. That as I continue to trust in him he will somehow fulfill the desires of my heart according to his word and his promise.

In the meantime Lord, let your rod and your staff comfort me and let your goodness, mercy and unfailing love follow me all the days of my life!