...Limbo...

I think I'm going through a phase.  I'm not sure what phase, but a phase.  I am restless about life and feel like I need to make a change... but what change should I make? I have no motivation to do anything. Work feels like a bother and my personal ambition has taken a nose dive.  That shocks even me. I wake up in the morning feeling great only to feel like going back to bed after 2 hours.  What is this?  I am not at all depressed or anything like that.  I'm just in limbo...I HATE LIMBO!!

I am praying that God will show me what needs to change and that I will have the courage to change it.  One thing's for sure, I am still excited about life and I know that the best is yet to come...just as soon as I get out of limbo.

What is the meaning of all this?

I am weary. Worn out from getting up day after day chasing... something. I seem to have lost my sense of purpose and with it the desire to come to work. All I want to do is go home and sleep for a week. Then go to the coast and lay on the beach for another week. Then figure out why in the world I am not a housewife and what the meaning of this life is... again.

Great Fun!

You Belong in 1981

Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are Somewhat Approachable

You are a fairly friendly person, and you're definitely not scaring people away. You do tend to have your guard up strangers, and rightfully so. How approachable you are depends on who is trying to approach you. You're friendly to people who seem harmless and nice. But you also know how to give creepy people the cold shoulder!

Are You Approachable?

Pitter Patter

How in the world does the heart know who to fall in love with and who not to? There is this particular guy that hits on me constantly, but my heart just won't take. What's up with that? I don't get hit on very often. It has been said that I am too dominating and intimidating (all rubbish if this guy is anything to go by). He takes me by surprise every time. The sad thing is that my heart doesn't paragasha, pitter patter, sing or jog when he is around. AT ALL!! Then there is the other guy... but that's a story for another time.

Be blessed!

Prioritize

Sometimes life crowds you in. I feel like I can't get breathing space. My every minute is filled with things that must be done. I'm tired and I'm not giving God as much time as I should. That makes it worse. I don't seem to know how to get back in order. I guess I need to prioritize again. Yes, that is what I will do.

When I become a mum...

When I become a mom I want to be a stay at home mom. I want to do much of the house work myself so I can teach my children how to do it and relate all we do to God and his word. I want to teach them chores, God's word, do homework together and the like. I want to teach my kids that they are Kings and Priests, and that Daddy is the King of our house. I want to teach my daughters to be good wives and mothers, and my sons to be great husbands.

I have only one dilemma, it feels like I will be giving up my calling in the market place to do that. Strange because I know staying home with my children is the higher calling. I need to be renewed in my mind about that. I wonder where in Kenya I will find a man who does not mind having his wife stay home. He needs to get a revelation first.

I want 6 children. 4 boys and 2 girls. I wonder once again where in Kenya I will find a man who wants that many kids and a stay at home wife. The kind of man that is not intimidated and overwhelmed by his responsibility as the provider of the home. One who understands the value of relying on God for all things.

The older I get, the stranger I get. Lord marry me off before it gets worse!!!!

Dog Tired

My job calls for innovation a lot of the time but lately it has taken on a whole new turn. We had a trainer scheduled to start training our new agents yesterday morning. Well, they got delayed and will not be able to start till the 9th or 10th. In the meantime, I can't send my agents home as they will likely get other jobs, so I have to train them. Well this morning I realised I had nothing to train them on and had to make stuff up first. God is faithful though, I managed to train them on american states, pronounciation, cities and the like. We had a good time in class too. Now I have to come up with something for tomorrow. It can be done. I am Dog tired right now though, but can't rest just yet.

Postponed

My Doc postponed my surgery to October 11th. I am very disappointed. You kinda have to syke yourself up for this stuff and I had just got to the point where I was like "Bring it on!" and now I have to wait for a bit longer. That just deflates me.
I'm thinking I might take a trip to mombasa to pass the time. Just me, all by myself. And I can enjoy the beach, the warmth and the silence. Maybe I will go next friday and come back on Wednesday ready for surgery on Thursday. Not sure yet.
Yup! I may just go down to the coast!

10 days to go and counting...

Well, it's just 10 days to surgery. I can't wait, but I am also nervous about it. There is a lot to be done at work and I want to make sure all is on point here before I leave. At the same time God is really talking to me about being anointed for business. I know that I am an entrepreneur so it's good to hear that God is backing up his children in the business world and blessing us to succeed. I want to look more into that during my two months at home.

Can't seem to catch my breath!

I am busy. I am recruiting for the company and this is an all day affair, but it is fun! I am acting up and doing all kinds of crazy, shocking things for my poor new recruits and they are eating it up. I am also getting ready for surgery and because I am so busy I have not had time to worry about it which is good.

Have to go do some more interviews, so... later!!

OT

Something is running around in my head, and i'm sure everyone and their dog has an opinion on this one. I am thinking about the validity of the old testament in our lives today. All of it, not just the bits we like. What would happen if we ate like it says, if we were as moral as it says, as God fearing. Would our lives be better? Does the new testament nullify the old, or did it just come to complete it? Why would God go to the extent of telling people exactly what to eat, how to live their lives day to day? I find it interesting that he actually told them not to even inquire on how the nations worshipped their gods. He knew that curiosity killed the cat!! I think there is more to the pentateuch than we know....

Quotes

It has been a productive day. Feels very good. I have decided to just keep working on my ideas and start rolling out what I can on my own business. Not an easy task, but has to be done. The one thing I really have to combat is fatigue. After 8 hrs of work, I just want to go home and sleep. But I guess thats where delayed gratification comes in. I now have to go home and start working on all my ideas and dreams before I go to sleep. I read something really inspiring that I want to share with all you out there:

Behind me is infinite power

Before me is endless possibility

Around me is boundless opportunity

why should I fear?

- Stella Stuart

That gave me a lot of courage and strength and came right on time. I spoke to someone who was very discouraging. Maybe i'm living in a bubble, but I want to think the government is ready to move forward and implement all the ICT projects they are talking about. This guy seems to think not, pointing out the fact that many of the people in government do not even know how to turn on their PC's let alone the benefits of ICT to our economy.

I guess in the long run change has to start with me. There is no other way to change the world except one person at a time. I can only hope that in my own sphere of influence I will make a difference and pass on my positivity and enthusiasm for the development of this country to everyone I come into contact with.

Here is another quote for you that I hope will guide you as you also make your journey in entrepreneurship.

Plan Purposefully

Prepare Prayerfully

Proceed Positively

Pursue Persistently

-Anonymous