HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE ME

The other day I sinned in such a way as to shock myself. I have read in books by Mahesh Chavda that fasting is like skimming milk. It causes that which is hidden within you to rise so God can skim it off you. Boy! Did it ever! I could not believe myself. Anyway, in the midst of all my guilt and shame God took that opportunity to teach me about his unmerited favor and what it means when he says I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Flash back to Calvary. Jesus is hanging on that cross for you and me and a great divine exchange is taking place. All our sins are being placed on him so that he is black with it. God the Father, who cannot stand sin backs away from Jesus turning his face away from him. Up till now Jesus has had the awesome presence of the Almighty giving him strength. He feels the Father withdraw from him and cries “Eloi, Eloi, lama Sabachthani?” which means “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” He is totally alone in the world. Utterly naked and abandoned because of the sin that now covers him. But guess what? He went through that so that you and I will never be forsaken even when we fall. What a divine exchange!

If you have accepted the covering of the cross of Jesus which is salvation, when God looks at you he sees you through the lens of what happened on Calvary. This means that when you sin, like I did, God looks at you, sees the blood of Calvary and stays by your side. He never, ever forsakes you because he already forsook Christ at Calvary. When you repent he is quick to forgive you and wash away that guilty stain.

Usually when I sin in a big way (in my human mind there are dimensions of sin) even though I repent I am racked with guilt. Then I go around worrying that God will leave me because of what I did and that he won’t help me anymore or show me the favor I have been enjoying in him up until the “great” sin. This time he told me that no matter what I do, he will not leave me nor forsake me. I must repent and turn away from the sin but his commitment to me, as long as I am in Christ is that he will always be by my side and with that, he will always give me his unmerited favor which is my help.

Christians tend to think that if we are spotless then God will favor us. In truth, there is nothing we can do to merit or deserve God’s favor. That is why it is unmerited favor. You can’t earn it. He just gives it to you. Got it!! The notion that when you sin God backs away from you, which is how many of us were taught about what happened at Calvary, is a half truth. When God sees me, he sees his son on Calvary, remembers that my sins past, present and future are already paid for and stays right by my side. What an awesome revelation! Therefore I can still approach the throne of God with boldness to repent of my sin and ask for the blood of Calvary to wash away that guilty stain so that I will still be presented on that day without spot or wrinkle.

My 3 Fathers

Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits!! I am rejoicing greatly today because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the purpose of this fast. Surely when you seek God on any matter, you will find him. I will talk about what God has done for me at a later date when I can do so freely, but be informed, God is making the path for my feet very clear. I bless his name.

Today I want to talk about fatherhood and some of the things I am discovering along the way. My dad passed away on March 13th this year. As I said at the time, God stepped into that place he held in my heart immediately so that even though I missed dad terribly and grieved his death there was no void in me. I was still complete and whole. There was no emptiness. When we first learnt about dad's diabetes complications I had cried out to God in fear because dad had almost died. I could feel the huge void in me and did not want to have that emptiness. God was gracious and waited until I learnt to make him my true Father before taking dad.

Funny enough, now he has began to show me Fathers in the community who will step in to advice me as a father would. One is my best friend's dad who has so adopted me and indeed my family that he came for my sister's ruracio (ceremony to pay the bride price) after dad died. It was such a comfort to see how God had touched his heart for us and given him a sense of responsibility for the family. Mom was so honored to see him there too. This is the dad to whom I will take my boyfriend for the "daddy interrogation session" I am so blessed to have him.

The other Father that God has given me is Mr. Anthony Wahome of Linksoft Group. This father is the one who advices me on how to do life and business. When I think I am hearing God about something or when I want to make a career change or need business advice this is the Father to go to. He is so godly and such a blessing and I will be working very closely with him in the next season of my life.

Daddy No. 3 is my Pastor Allan Kiuna who I just love to bits. This daddy prays for me, cries for me, seeks God on my behalf. This father teaches me the ways of the Lord, how to walk uprightly before my God. He puts tools for success in my hand and blesses me Sunday after Sunday and other times in between. I love my pastor dearly.

These three men have been put in my path by God and are always ready to hear me if I need to speak. I pursue these fathers diligently because they have been put in place for me by God. I honor and treasure them. See how good God is, even though he has taken away my biological father, out of his death I have received 3 Fathers and Jehovah as well. I am blessed!!

Praise Him you his saints!

This word shared by my newly found friend Cathy has really blessed my heart. Romans 4:18 - 22.

"[For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been promised, So [numberless] shall your descendants be.(A)

He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah's [deadened] womb.(B)

No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God,

Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised.

That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God)"



One of the main feelings assaulting me in this time of grief has been loneliness. An acute feeling of being all alone in the world. I have prayed to God over and over again about marriage and children in this season. Yet he has not answered in any tangible way. It is wonderful to know that just like me, Abraham had a promise. Yet there was no indication of the fulfillment of the said promise. In fact, everything looked dead. He was impotent and Sara's womb was dead. But he continued to keep his gaze on the Almighty God.He took note of his condition, but chose to dwell on God's ability instead of his own dead state.

BTW whatever God did to get rid of the impotence had long term effects on Abe. In Genesis 25 we read that he took another wife when Isaac was all grown up and Sarah had passed on, and she bore him 6 children. Nothing can beat God's viagra!!

Abraham was empowered by Faith as he gave praise and glory to God. Looking at the greatness of God and the ability of God he was able to have faith that God would do it for him. What a mighty God we serve!

Let us not look at our limitations but see God who is limitless. Nothing can stand in his way. We must keep praising him for who he is, regardless of the situation until he comes and delivers on his promises to us. He is a good God.

My Lost Coin!

THIRTY THREE. That is how old I will be on Sunday. I am not sure I want to be that old just yet. Not that I am against my age, not at all. I think the thirties are awesome and I am having the time of my life. I finally have enough money to do things like go out and have a good time with friends on my birthday without having to ask anyone for it … ya know?!!

But there are things I thought I would have accomplished by now and I still have not seen any sign that God has answered those prayers. Like marriage and a family of my own. Sometimes my heart is very downcast when I contemplate my age, my gynecological history and the lack of a man in my life. I get to the place where I ask like Abraham, "You have given me all these things and all these fabulous promises, but what good is it for my servant Eliezer will inherit it all when I am gone?" (my paraphrase).

I thought I was being ungrateful and silly until I read the story of the lost coin in Luke 15:8-9

"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'"

Without a husband and a family in my life I don't feel complete. I have 9 coins and I, like this woman, am frantically searching for my lost coin. I am sweeping and cleaning looking for this lost coin. And when I find it, for I SHALL FIND IT, you all must rejoice with me. Why I'm I so certain of this? Because God exists. He is, and is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him. I know for sure because the Zeal of the Lord shall accomplish it for me. He shall do it. I am so blessed. I love this God so much. I love him to smithereens!!!!

Under His Wings

The last two days have been very interesting. God has delivered me from con artists that have scammed people of millions of shillings. Had it not been for God, I would have walked right into their traps. One showed up yesterday and another today. The second one was just amazing, someone had just told me about him and his tricks and 5 minutes later he walked into my office. God is faithful. When Ps 91 says "Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare...he will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart" He means it guys. He really does.

Additionally, I tell him often that I am a tither, that I am a giver and a sower of seed. Therefore the enemy cannot come in to reap my harvest. Malachi 3 says he will rebuke the devourer for your sake. Praise God! He has done it for me countless times.

Devil, touch not the Lords anointed and do his prophet no harm!!! That's me, so stay away from me and mine in Jesus name. I am so glad for the blood of Jesus that keeps the enemy at bay at all times. God is good to me!