Prodigal Living, Self-Indulgence and Self-Gratification

This verse broke my heart when I read it this morning:  James 5:5

"Here on earth you have abandoned yourselves to soft (prodigal) living and to the pleasures of self-indulgence and self-gratification.  You have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter"

You may not be drinking, smoking, prostituting or doing any of those things that we as Christians consider "carnal" but there are other things we do.  As Christians, we are to be ever conscious of the God we serve.  To be wholly submitted to him and to walk only in his ways for us.  How many times has God told you to do a certain thing, but instead you chose to take a different route.  In your mind you are not sinning.  You are just making the decision that YOU think is best, but if it is not God's decision for you it is sin.

He says that we have taken the way of self-indulgence and self-gratification.  It is what I want.  What feels good to me.  We forget that God has our lives all mapped out according Psalm 139.  The days of our lives were planned out by him before any one of them ever came to be.  We have been sent here on earth with a mission to accomplish, but we have turned away from that mission and purpose and have created missions and purposes for ourselves outside of God's will.  Sadly, we still profess to know him and to walk in his ways.  We have deceived ourselves!!

One thing have I desired of the Lord and that will I seek after, that I may know Him as I am known by Him.  That I may find out and do the works which God predestined or planned beforehand for me to do.  Taking paths which He prepared ahead of time that I should walk in them (Eph 2:10).

34 Strong!!

They say that the older you get the better each birthday becomes. I can honestly say that it is true for me. I love each new year that the Lord gives me. This birthday is particularly exciting for me because of the things that God has been speaking to me as I fast. The numerology is awesome.

3 stands for the God Head

4 is a door as represented by the Dalet (number 4 in Hebrew).

7 is the number of completion resulting from the addition of 3 and 4.

I have been praying in line with these numbers and God keeps revealing more things to me. The number 4 is the one that has really stood out for me. God is talking about opening doors for me. The door to destiny. The definition of the word door is also quite interesting:

1) A door is a moveable barrier used to cover an opening.

2) Anything providing a means of access (or escape)

According to Wikipedia "Doors are often symbolically endowed with ritual purposes, and the guarding or receiving of the keys to a door, or being granted access to a door can have special significance"

Doors are also depicted as the portals through which the righteous may enter (Psalms 119:18) When God opens your eyes and you see wonderful things in his law, you see open doors in places you had not seen them before and God allows you to walk through them.

Another awesome thing that happened on Friday was that I was in a meeting at Kingdom Business Network when the man of God was led to anoint us with oil and prophesy over our lives. When he got to me he said:

"Stop waiting for the door to open. The sliding doors open for you when you move towards them. If you move in the direction you hear God telling you to move towards, the doors will open. Right now you are standing here waiting for the doors to open and they are waiting for you to make a move so they can open. "

After this I read the meaning of the word door in the back of my Bible and was amazed to find that Revelation 4:1 reads as follows:

"After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven."

This is the season I have stepped into. The season of the open door and of access into the throne room of God. Friday and Saturday during times of worship I got to experience this open door to the throne room of God. On both occasions all I could do was weep as I realized that I was in the very throne room of God. On Friday I just had to prostrate myself before him and on Saturday I had to get on my knees. It is amazing that the God of the whole universe has allowed me to appear before him in Zion and join the 24 elders in crying out

"You are worthy, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they were created

and have their being."

I cannot even begin to tell you how real this experience has been for me and how precious. One thing that I know in my heart is that God himself has opened this door to me and no one can shut it. I am blessed!!

I also know that God has opened doors for me in heaven and on earth in line with my calling. I will walk boldly towards everything God has spoken to me and I know that I will see amazing things in God and you will read all about them here. God bless you and Happy Birthday to me!!

My Lost Coin!

THIRTY THREE. That is how old I will be on Sunday. I am not sure I want to be that old just yet. Not that I am against my age, not at all. I think the thirties are awesome and I am having the time of my life. I finally have enough money to do things like go out and have a good time with friends on my birthday without having to ask anyone for it … ya know?!!

But there are things I thought I would have accomplished by now and I still have not seen any sign that God has answered those prayers. Like marriage and a family of my own. Sometimes my heart is very downcast when I contemplate my age, my gynecological history and the lack of a man in my life. I get to the place where I ask like Abraham, "You have given me all these things and all these fabulous promises, but what good is it for my servant Eliezer will inherit it all when I am gone?" (my paraphrase).

I thought I was being ungrateful and silly until I read the story of the lost coin in Luke 15:8-9

"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'"

Without a husband and a family in my life I don't feel complete. I have 9 coins and I, like this woman, am frantically searching for my lost coin. I am sweeping and cleaning looking for this lost coin. And when I find it, for I SHALL FIND IT, you all must rejoice with me. Why I'm I so certain of this? Because God exists. He is, and is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him. I know for sure because the Zeal of the Lord shall accomplish it for me. He shall do it. I am so blessed. I love this God so much. I love him to smithereens!!!!

Nyokabi!

She should have been born today, but her mom lost her 2 months after conception. Our baby Nyokabi my God daughter. We love you baby!

Favor

In this month of Grace and Favor, may the favor of God locate you wherever you are.

Jehovah Shammah

At three O'clock this morning little baby Shammah was born. She is my 4th niece and the first one to be named after my mom. She is absolutely beautiful! Can't wait to have my own!! Her Name comes from the Lord's Name Jehovah Shammah which means "The Lord is there, the Lord is here,or the Lord is with us."

Where did the years go?

Psalm 31:15: "My times are in your hands" Well, it's a good thing my times are in his hands or I would be in a full blown panic at this point. I am 31 today. Where did the years go? How can I be that old? I don't feel that old!!! But, I choose to look at the silver lining and say Thank you Lord. For another day, another year, another opportunity to be all you created me to be. I am blessed beyond words with a great family, wonderful friends and been placed in the best industry at such a time as this.

In a way I feel like an unfurling flower. Like I discover myself more every year. I am more settled now. More in tune with my wants and needs. That's a wonderful feeling. There are still things I wish I had like a family of my own, but I won't let those things take away from the gratitude I feel at just being who I am today...now. I know that I am blessed and that the best is yet to come.

Happy Birthday to me!!!