Contentment

Beholding as in a mirror for me means that I look into God's word and I see my self. A true reflection of who I am and what I have become - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes it is painful, but always it leads to becoming a better me.

I recently came to the conclusion that I am far from content with my life, and not in a good way. I want everything now! In the process I am killing myself with stress and anxiety that should not be my portion. Why can't I just settle down and let God lead me in the way everlasting? I am always running somewhere, trying to get this and that, impatient, unable to rest and my body is taking a beating. High Blood Pressure is threatening me, hormonal imbalance is causing fibroids to grow and the other day I got to the office and started getting breathless, anxious and teary two days in a row. I know that I am running myself down but for whatever reason taking a break to rest is not a viable option. I am just so grateful that my surgery will give me a legitimate reason to rest! That is so messed up.

Well, the Lord told me that I am not content at all and I have to learn how to be. Because with contentment I am okay with God's sovereign choices for me and I am able to relax and go with his flow and his timing. I don't need to be equal with the joneses. My path and plan are different and unique only to me.

This verses say it well:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

And this one really hit home for me as I want to be truly godly:

But godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Timothy 6:6

I need to be content with my job and wait for God's timing in starting a business, and with my status as a single woman - my times are in his hands.

Contentment will allow me to pray about the desires of my heart while still abandoning myself to God. It will enable me to relax, smell the roses, take a walk, watch the sunset, as I move into the times of God. Contentment will allow me to make the most of Chronos time while I wait on God's Kairos time.

May God give me the grace to wait on him, and give me the wisdom to learn contentment as I take this journey called life.