Marriage Manual

Why are so many marriages breaking up? Why aren't they able to pass the test of time? When will we discover that the one who created life also showed us how to work it by giving us his manual - THE BIBLE. Why are women not submitting to their husbands Ephesians 5:22, Loving their husbands Titus 2:4 or busy at home Titus 2:5 and why in the world are men not loving their wives Ephesians 5:25 Providing for them 1 Timothy 5:8 take leadership in their families and just be men? Why?

A relative just walked out of a marriage after 9 years and 4 children. She has had enough. She despises the man, can't submit to him, is sick and tired of fending for the family on her own while trying to keep the home and is sick and tired of dealing with hateful in laws. He in turn, can't deal with an insubordinate wife and can't understand what the big deal with providing is since his parents have given them a house to live in their compound (never mind that his mother is insulting to his wife), and his parents give them an allowance every month so they practically dictate what goes on in their lives and marriage. His parents are raising the children for them and paying their bills. What does he do all day? Sleep and eat, and go see his friends.

This really angered me. I know that God's command is to submit, and I am sure that there are things that she could do to make the marriage better, but she doesn't seem to have any more strength left to fight for her marriage. She is physically worn out from trying to make money, run the home, deal with four young children, and the demands of marriage as a wife. The first thing out the window was sex. She didn't have the energy for it, she was resentful due to his laziness, and she just is unable to deal with bossy in laws. As I write, she has absolutely no desire to deal with him or work things out. She has no feelings towards him other than hatred and spite, and never wants to see him again, leave alone be a wife to him.

All I could think about was if only each one had taken their own role in marriage and stood in it. Then none of them would be overwhelmed with what they needed to do. If the man could only be a leader, protector and provider for his family, and the wife focus on keeping the home, and child rearing maybe she would have been less overwhelmed and he would have the respect from her that he desires. This makes me even more determined to do marriage God's way. My marriage must work! I must start by finding out what my own role is and doing it. Paul's counsel to younger widows in 1 Tim 5:14 says it very well:

So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

And in Titus 2:4-5

...train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

And in Eph 5:22

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

God help us, and help each man and woman out there who's marriage is struggling. Only you can do it. So make haste to rectify the damage done in our homes.